Things happen quickly in transfer sagas and Arsenal now face an ‘awkward chat’ just 23 minutes after forging an agreement with Mikel Merino.
So this is awkward…
Things happen quickly in the transfer world, as the Mirror demonstrate with their coverage of the Mikel Merino to Arsenal saga.
‘Arsenal agree personal terms with top midfield target after £25m transfer breakthrough’ – Mirror, August 1, 10.35am
‘Mikel Merino faces awkward Arsenal chat over dream shirt number as contract is offered’ – Mirror, August 1, 10.58am
Arsenal and Merino could enjoy the bliss of their agreement for just 23 minutes before the Spaniard was thrust into an ‘awkward chat over dream shirt number’. And don’t we all hate those?
Arsenal target Mikel Merino will have to swap shirt numbers should he join Mikel Arteta’s side, with his preferred choice already taken.
So is the ‘awkward chat’ with Arsenal, when they tell him that he won’t be able to wear the No. 8? Or is the ‘awkward chat’ with his new captain Martin Odegaard? Or is it a right load of old bollocks? We’re edging towards the latter.
This is a wonderful line:
It is a near certainty that the Norwegian wouldn’t give it up to Merino, and though not hugely important, this could throw another smaller spanner into the deal.
‘Not hugely important’?! But it’s his ‘dream shirt number’ and the whole transfer could hinge on this detail.
Thankfully the Mirror’s sister title the Express has a solution:
Arsenal can kill two birds with one stone by giving Odegaard’s shirt number to Merino
Sorted. We will await the official announcement. Awkward Arsenal chat averted.
MORE ON ARSENAL FROM F365:
👉 Five-year Premier League net spend table has Arsenal in second
👉 Arsenal given Gyokeres alternative as Premier League exes given ideas
👉 Arsenal transfer: Arteta ‘wants to make statement’ by signing Man City star with Gunners close to third deal
Merino wool
Also in the Express is this frankly mental headline:
‘I’m world class but midfielder Arsenal are close to signing is the complete player’
Which is one way of selling some month-old quotes from Pedri in which he a) never describes himself as world class and b) never mentions Arsenal.
Will there be a point when we stop being even remotely surprised by this utter sh*t?
Shakin’ all over…
‘Liverpool 2 Arsenal 1: Gunners unusually shaky as Salah and Carvalho end unbeaten pre-season record’ is like a parody pre-season friendly headline from The Sun.
First, ‘unbeaten pre-season record’; this is Arsenal’s third game of pre-season. No f***er talks about an ‘unbeaten record’ after two actual real games, never mind two pre-season games, the first of which you won on penalties.
As for ‘unusually shaky’…playing alongside Gabriel in central defence was Jakub Kiwior, who might well be Arsenal’s sixth-choice centre-half this season. If he even stays at the club.
‘He is no William Saliba!’ as it says in the player ratings. Hmmm. Could that be why Arsenal looked ‘unusually shaky’ and had to give up that impressive ‘unbeaten pre-season record’? Just a thought.
Storm warning
Those Sun Arsenal player ratings are unintentionally funny in themselves.
Arsenal player ratings: Martinelli ready to take Premier League by storm as fringe star struggles to make an impact
Actual Arsenal player ratings: Martinelli 7, Nelson 6.
Fine, fine margins.
A man of few many words
Over at the Mirror, ‘Mikel Arteta offers five-word verdict after Arsenal ‘punished’ by Liverpool’.
No, he didn’t ‘offer a five-word verdict’; he offered loads and loads of words and you picked out five.
Quansah question
‘Liverpool 2-1 Arsenal – PLAYER RATINGS: Which Reds defender put forward a serious case to start their Premier League opener?’ asks MailOnline.
Is it, and we’re really putting our necks out here, the Reds defender who started 10 of the last 15 games of last season? That Reds defender?
And that’s why I love you…
Over in the Liverpool Echo, we might have found the worst example yet in the pre-season epidemic of ‘true colours’ being shown…
Liverpool star Mohamed Salah shows true colours vs Arsenal amid transfer uncertainty
And how did he show these ‘true colours’? By scoring a goal, of course. That really is a glimpse beneath the mask.
Little-known clickbait
Manchester City were issued with a fine on Wednesday; here’s the succinct BBC headline that tells you everything you need to know:
Man City fined £2m for delaying kick-offs 22 times
Not connected to FFP, PSR, APT, BHS or any other financial rules. But crucially, there are clicks to be had from suggesting otherwise. Which is how we end up here…
Man City are fined over £2m for breaking Premier League rule 22 times – as the top flight release statement confirming its champions accept breach of little-known regulation – MailOnline.
‘Man City fined over £2million for breaking little-known rule TWENTY-TWO times as Premier League release statement’ – The Sun.
‘Man City fined £2m by the Premier League for breaking little-known rule 22 times’ – Mirror.
‘Man City fined over £2m after breaching Premier League rule 22 times over two seasons’ – Sky Sports.
‘Why Man City have been slapped with £2m fine as Premier League champions are punished for breach of little-known rule 22 times – explained’ – Goal.
‘Man City hit with huge fine for 22 breaches of Premier League rules’ – SPORTbible.
It’s not a ‘huge fine’ though, is it? It’s a month’s worth of Kevin de Bruyne.