We understand why, after years of Glazer-fuelled pessimism at Old Trafford, Manchester United fans are feeling optimistic ahead of the first full season of Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s rule.
One such fan even reckons a 3-0 defeat to Liverpool is cause for celebration. How the mighty have fallen.
Anyway, we’ve decided their optimism is misplaced, and here’s six reasons why…
Injuries
Only in very rare circumstances would we wish a footballer ill and certainly would not in the case of Leny Yoro (whom we hope makes a full and speedy recovery). But try as we might to keep our deplorable sadism at bay, we are embarrassed to admit that we failed to stifle a chuckle at seeing a teenager ruled out for three months just days after completing a £52m move to Old Trafford. We hate ourselves.
It means the Red Devils will be without Yoro – who will likely be their most expensive summer signing no matter what happens in the rest of the window – for roughly a quarter of the Premier League season, while Rasmus Hojlund looks set to miss at least the first three games, including Liverpool at home on September 1.
After their horrific injury problems last term, it’s not a great start. Particularly as they’ve been hit in the two positions they were (and still are) so desperate to strengthen this summer.
Victor Lindelof also had to come off against Liverpool, Lisandro Martinez is yet to return to training after the Copa America, Harry Maguire missed Euro 2024 through injury and while reports suggest they’re still in the hunt for Matthijs de Ligt to further bolster centre-back options, he will need time to adapt if and when he arrives.
As will summer signing Joshua Zirkzee, who is the other potential starting striker, but is yet to join the squad and will presumably face a similar pressure to hit the ground running which left Hojlund looking lost for large parts of his debut season.
Getting off on the wrong foot
In the Who The Bloody Hell Is Going To Play Against Fulham discourse, somehow – against all the odds – Jadon Sancho and Casemiro are being tipped to start. Manchester United fans would have laughed, sighed or thrown something at anyone suggesting that would be the case even two months ago.
Having won his second trophy in two years, Ten Hag had the backing of the majority of the fans, who had therefore accepted Sancho would remain a club pariah having failed to publicly apologise for his disrespectful swipe at the United boss.
That apology has not been forthcoming but as Ten Hag says “the club needs good players”, which is fair enough, but does suggest he’s not quite the principled operator we thought he was.
That may be a good thing but there will be questions as to whether a leopard can change its spots, which will presumably be tested if (or when) Sancho finds himself on the bench after his brief cameo in a position he’s entirely unsuited to.
Where to play a guy who loves the ball to feet in wide positions before turning and running at defenders? As the No.9, probably. Good thinking guys.
Casemiro’s inclusion would take the biscuit though. Reports suggested the Brazilian ‘said goodbye’ to his teammates at the end of a season in which he aged at least a week per day as “the football left him”.
But now, as Man Utd struggle to source the ideal partner for Kobbie Mainoo in midfield, Ten Hag looks set to be left with little option but to start Casemiro alongside the England international on the opening day. Incredible.
More deadwood
The ‘record-breaking exodus‘ hasn’t quite come to pass, has it? Of the 14 players supposedly facing the axe, Lindelof, Sancho, Marcus Rashford, Casemiro, Facundo Pellistri, Aaron Wan-Bissaka, Tom Heaton, Hannibal Mejbri and Antony all remain, and there’s very little interest in any of them but Wan-Bissaka.
Antony Martial and Raphael Varane have left at the end of their contracts, they’ve got £500k for poor Donny van de Beek and – perhaps most amusing of all – having decided not to make Sofyan Amrabat’s loan move permanent, they may still get him back.
The only successful sale – and we’re grasping at straws here – has been Mason Greenwood joining Marseille for £26m, which will likely prove to be a very low fee for a very fine footballer that they would clearly liked to have kept if it weren’t for all those darn wokies making a big song and dance about some damning audio that actually wasn’t damning at all apparently.
Rather than selling deadwood they’re now trying to buy more players in an attempt to resuscitate them, which – and we’re by no means fiscal experts – is unlikely to reduce the wage bill that Sir Jim Ratcliffe and his INEOS chiefs are so concerned about.
Transfer uncertainty
They’ve made a bid for Antony’s carer Noussair Mazraoui and Matthijs de Ligt that’s been rejected by Bayern Munich and our news editor has slowly lost his mind over the last month as a result of the many, many updates on their chase of Paris Saint-Germain midfielder Manuel Ugarte.
Sign all three and few would be able to refute this being A Good Transfer Window for Manchester United. They would have added both experience and quality, but as things stand they’re lacking the former.
Leny Yoro is the first transfer coup we can remember after United beat off competition from Real Madrid to land him from Lille. The teenager could be an excellent footballer. Could be. As could Zirkzee, whose goalscoring record isn’t anything to write home about, unless that letter chronicles mainly doubts and concerns.
It makes complete sense to sign potential in this age of PSR concerns, but United only need look at Chelsea to appreciate that when it comes to young talent quite a lot of the proverbial needs to be thrown at the wall for some of it to stick. For every Cole Palmer, there’s a Mykhaylo Mudryk and a Benoit Badiashile.
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The front three
It’s understandable that Ten Hag isn’t sure of his front three right now on the back of Hojlund’s injury, but we doubt he would have any idea even if the Denmark international wasn’t set to start the season in the treatment room.
Rashford and Alejandro Garnacho are his best wingers, but both want to play on the left. Sancho is most effective on the right but was mediocre at best for United before his Ten Hag bust-up. Not quite as bad as Antony, whom we can’t imagine any United fan would like to see in the starting line-up.
That leaves Amad Diallo, who has benefited hugely from barely playing for the club he signed for three-and-a-half years ago, with many United fans now convinced on the back of a goal and an assist against Newcastle in their penultimate game of last season and a few nice touches in pre-season that he’s the answer to their right-wing prayers.
They appear to be putting a helluva lot of faith in a player the club has thus far deemed not good enough for them and best suited to loan spells at Rangers and Sunderland. We’ll wait to reserve judgement.
Erik ten Hag is still the manager
Weird how one game can make all the difference. Manchester United were awful last season, conceding ludicrous numbers of shots, losing nearly as many games as they won and rarely deserving to win when they did.
They were largely reduced to counter-attacks, most of which were ineffective, and when they did have the ball for longer than 30 seconds they looked as though they had no idea what to do with it before losing possession and leaving gaping holes all over the pitch for opposition teams to hurt them.
Ten Hag blamed injuries; most others blamed an alarming and evident lack of coaching. Then he won the FA Cup, so…
The only people happier than the Manchester United fans – who quite reasonably decided to back a manager who had won them two trophies in two years over an unknown – were the millions of fans of every other club the world over who take joy in Red Devil woes.