Arsenal have been ‘told’ who would be the best partner for Viktor Gyokeres, despite him not being their player. And Liverpool already have ‘the next Rodri’
Russ driver
Mediawatch will not pretend as though there is loads happening in this most tired of transfer windows and lulls between the end of a major tournament and start of the club season. But the biggest story in all of football as of Friday lunchtime, according to The Sun website?
‘Former glamour model Lucy Pinder has made her relationship with Southampton boss Russell Martin public.’
More as we get it.
In a Galaxy far, far away
Neil Custis is professionally concerned for Manchester United in The Sun. And any time that happens, he can bring himself to write about only one thing: Louis van Gaal’s Manchester United.
‘It was during that pre-season tour of 2014 that, over lunch with colleagues in Santa Monica, the opinion was expressed that the club was in danger of not winning the title for years.
‘And this was despite Van Gaal’s first game in charge ending in a 7-0 win over LA Galaxy.’
‘Despite’? It’s almost like a 20-year-old Reece James – Rotherham, in case you were wondering – scoring twice in an exhibition victory over a team which substituted literally every single one of their players was meaningless and, like every pre-season game ever, could not be extrapolated to any relevant extent over the course of an entire campaign.
Wayne’s world
The humble ‘as’ has become the most powerful word in all of football content headlinedom, but there would be no industry for it to dominate if the slightly less fluid ‘amid’ had not carefully laid the groundwork beforehand.
The Liverpool Echo crowbar it into a story which ticks an almost unnecessary amount of red-tinted boxes. ‘Jude Bellingham sends Anthony Gordon message amid Liverpool transfer update’ is pure click gold dust for supporters starved of any actual transfers and they know it.
And while expectations were already naturally low in terms of the triviality of said message, especially in relation to the ‘Liverpool transfer update’, it feels as though Bellingham posting a single heart emoji in response to Gordon putting some pictures of his holiday up on Instagram is scraping the barrel in terms of being worth a 500-word article.
Wayne Routledge replied to Gordon’s post, amid Liverpool transfer update no less. In terms of it apparently being a Liverpool-centric story, he’s no less suitable than Bellingham to stick in the headline.
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I think you better reprieve right now
‘Real Madrid have just handed Liverpool a transfer reprieve they must take’ elsewhere on the Liverpool Echo.
It doesn’t feel like Real Madrid ‘have just handed’ Liverpool anything in recent years, aside from a few Champions League beatings. Yet Carlo Ancelotti explaining that “the squad is closed” in terms of incomings and “there are no departures because everyone wants to stay” was actually a Liverpool ‘transfer reprieve’ instead of, well the manager of Real Madrid talking about Real Madrid.
They were not going to sign Trent Alexander-Arnold this summer before that Ancelotti message and nothing has changed; he still isn’t going to move and the media is weirdly caught up in this idea he might.
He could one day. His contract expires in 2025 and it would be naive to think Alexander-Arnold wouldn’t consider all his options, with Real likely to want to be in the running. But Ancelotti ruling out any more transfers does not ‘buy the Reds time’ at all to renegotiate his contract because there was zero chance of him leaving anyway.
Thank you, next
But everything is fine at Anfield because John Barnes is ‘convinced Arne Slot already has the next Rodri in his Liverpool set-up’.
Except the Daily Mirror website have massively stitched Barnes up here because he said no such thing. He called Stefan Bajcetic “an out-and-out number six” and “an upgrade on” Wataru Endo before going off on one about how “everyone is now raving about Rodri” and “I’ve been talking about the importance of a good defensive midfielder for a long time and how vital they are to the team. Now everybody is talking about how important they are”. And while there is some nonsense from Barnes there in trying to pretend everyone called him a madman for believing defensive midfielders might have a fundamental part to play in a team before coming round to his way of thinking, he at no point even vaguely suggests Liverpool already have ‘the next Rodri’ within their ranks. Mainly because that would be stupid.
Complements to the chef
In another addition to the ‘former footballer offers banal thoughts to betting company who spin an eye-catching headline out of it so they can send a press release asking for links’ genre, Jermaine Pennant has spoken about Arsenal’s summer recruitment.
‘Arsenal told to make perfect signing who would complement Gyokeres immediately’
Pull your fingers out, Mikel and Edu. You have been ‘told’ (by Jermaine Pennant so no rush really).
But go on, we have come this far now. What has he actually said about the ‘perfect signing’ Arsenal should make to ‘complement’ a player they probably won’t sign?
“Alexander Isak would be a perfect signing for Arsenal or Liverpool. He’s got that stature of a big nine, which is great to have. He can finish, which we’ve seen at Newcastle. I think he would be an amazing signing. I think he would take Liverpool or Arsenal to the next step by winning the Premier League.”
Again, nice and vapid. Nothing offensive or outlandish there. Perfectly sensible.
But again, at no stage does Pennant mention or even allude to Gyokeres, nor does he explain how Arsenal are supposed to simultaneously afford both his near-£70m asking price or the £200m or so it would cost to purchase Isak.
No matter, because Pennant has spoken and Arsenal have been ‘told’.
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