Mikel Arteta is at it again with a ‘shock position change’ which will stun Arsenal fans, while Mo Salah has said everything and nothing about Liverpool.
Shock the week
‘Mikel Arteta explains tactical tweak as Jurrien Timber is given shock position change in Arsenal friendly vs Man Utd’ – The Sun website.
Has finishing second to Manchester City in consecutive seasons finally broken Mikel Arteta? Is he about to go into the new campaign with Timber up front? Or is he ruthlessly changing keepers yet again?
‘Timber was named in the starting line-up but played in the centre of defence as opposed to either side.’
Timber was described as ‘a versatile defender’ by Arsenal when they announced his signing. Most websites who list such things – WhoScored, FBref and the like – have his primary position down as a centre-half. Wiki-sodding-pedia call him ‘mainly a centre-back’ who ‘can also play as a full-back’. The numbers are obviously a fairly rough estimate but Transfermarkt say the Dutchman has played 166 games as a central defender compared to 49 at right-back and 12 on the left.
Central defender plays in central defence. Won’t somebody think of the children? In the context of Arsenal it is just about fair enough to call it a position change of any sort but still probably a stretch; a ‘shock’ it absolutely is not.
Shut up and dance
Mediawatch knows the horse bolted about 427 years ago in terms of outlets basing entire stories on the thoughts of faceless users on the social media site formerly known as Twitter but this MailOnline offering feels particularly low rent.
‘Andre Onana told to ‘keep his mouth shut’ after Man United goalkeeper used bizarre penalty shootout antics to distract Gabriel Magalhaes before being shushed by Arsenal defender’
He has been told to ‘keep his mouth shut’ by King Kai, posting to his 2,695 followers. When you are clicking on a story expecting to see quotes from Gabby Agbonlahor or Jamie O’Hara on TalkSPORT only to be disappointed, something has gone dreadfully wrong.
More than words
The proliferation of messages speaking volumes has been a recent fascination on these pages but the Liverpool Echo are raising the bar:
‘Mohamed Salah sends wordless message that says everything about Liverpool mood under Arne Slot’
‘Wordless message’ does sound like inherent nonsense but is just about passable with perhaps an emoji or some such symbol which might convey some sort of meaning.
But Salah did no such thing. He ‘simply shared a photo of himself giving a thumbs up to the camera while smiling as he’s stood next to Wataru Endo’. And that, folks, ‘says everything about Liverpool mood under Arne Slot’. Apparently.
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Slot stuff
Not content with that, the Echo try their hand at another new headline trend:
‘Arne Slot shows true colours as first major Liverpool transfer decision made’
Does Liverpool rejecting a £12m bid for Wataru Endo, a player they signed a year ago for about £16m, really show anyone’s ‘true colours’? Not least the head coach who has no more input on transfers than the sporting director?
Was anyone previously under the assumption Slot would come in and demand the club accept all low-balled offers for their players?
Crock of old shirt
Slot’s true colours and Salah’s wordless message unfortunately say nothing about the future of Trent Alexander-Arnold, who is definitely not leaving Liverpool despite attempts by numerous outlets to make it seem like he might.
The Sun website thankfully have the inside scoop:
‘Trent Alexander-Arnold drops hint he is joining Real Madrid as fans spot what he did on holiday with Jude Bellingham’
‘Fans spot what he did on holiday’ because someone specifically took a picture of it. There was no sleuthing involved. And nor was there any dropping of hints in Alexander-Arnold signing someone’s Real Madrid shirt, unless you are an actual child who sees transfer clues even in the most basic acts of human kindness like a professional footballer writing a message to a young supporter at their request.
They are obviously not the only ones at it. The Daily Mirror website discuss Alexander-Arnold’s ‘exploits’ in signing the shirt, while the MailOnline say it ‘may have fuelled rumours’ about a move. Again, only if you are a fool.
Even Liverpool.com, who generally look upon the club with the rosiest possible outlook indulge by saying the defender ‘isn’t exactly doing much to calm the nerves of Liverpool fans’.
Eighteen days until the Premier League season starts. It feels like an eternity.
John d’oh
‘Ex-Prem star who snubbed 10-year Barca now in non-league with 16th club’ – The Sun website.
That would be John Bostock, the ‘ex-Prem star’ of precisely zero career Premier League games.
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