… BREAKING NEWS TICKER O’ DOOM …
Lee Carsley will don his janitor’s jacket and take caretaker control of England while the FA continues to throw names around the room as it tries to find a replacement for Gareth Southgate. Carsley will step up from his role as England U-21 manager for next month’s Nations League games against – wait for it – the Republic of Ireland, who he represented 40 times. He’ll also be in charge against Finland “with a view to remaining in the position throughout autumn while the FA’s recruitment process for a new permanent head coach continues”. Carsley added: “It’s an honour to lead this England squad on an interim basis. As I am very familiar with the players and the cycle of international football, it makes sense for me to guide the team while the FA continues the process to recruit a new manager. My main priority is to ensure continuity and our goal is to secure promotion in the Uefa Nations League.”
THE WIND-UP BOSS CHRONICLE
For a long time, it seemed the most significant football event of Saturday 26 February 1983 took place at Turf Moor, where second-from-bottom Burnley scored five goals in the last 13 minutes to beat Charlton 7-1. Sometime in the mid-2000s, we realised something else happened that day. In Maceió, Brazil, a boy came into the world and was christened Kepler Laverán de Lima Ferreira. His first two names were a nod to the astrologer Johannes Kepler and the physician Charles Louis Alphonse Laveran. Prescient stuff, because when the boy grew up and acquired the nickname Pepe, his opponents frequently saw stars and were often in need of urgent medical assistance.
Pepe, now 41, has announced his retirement after a unique career. If anybody else played at the top level for 22 years, picking up seven league titles, three Big Cups, a European Championship and 17 red cards in the process, we’re all ears. Pepe spent much of his career being loathed by opposition fans and even neutrals because of his erratic moral compass. For 10 years at Real Madrid, he and Sergio Ramos were elite football’s answer to the Mitchell Brothers: two unashamedly dirty types who would stop at nothing to keep a clean sheet.
The past is a cartoon that turns villains into loveable anti-heroes. If comedy = tragedy + time, then maybe affection = hatred + time. Towards the end of his career, particularly at Euro 2024, Pepe was revered like a distinguished old don. If football were a reality TV show [what do you mean if? – Football Daily Ed], Pepe would have be sent into retirement with a montage of his best bits, the audience hooting with laughter as he puts the head on Thomas Müller at the 2014 World Cup or treats Getafe’s Javier Casquero like an old sock. That astonishing meltdown, in which he also punched another Getafe player and shouted “You’re all sons of b!tches” as he left the field, led to a 10-match ban.
At the risk of being the most hypocritical daily football email in the business, Pepe does deserve to be remembered for more than the red cards. When he wasn’t partaking in the dark arts, Pepe was an extremely good defender: player of the match in the Euro 2016 final and named in the team of the tournament at three successive Euros. Even at Euro 2024, when he was 41, Portugal conceded only one goal in six hours while he was on the pitch. (Admittedly he malfunctioned for a split-second against Slovenia and gave Benjamin Sesko a great chance to dump Portugal out, but that doesn’t suit our narrative so let’s not dwell on it.) And he wasn’t booked once.
The fact Pepe was still a high-class centre-back at 41 is astonishing and without precedent. “I want to thank God for giving me the wisdom to be able to continue my journey,” sobbed an emotional Pepe when he announced his retirement in a 33-minute video. “I want to leave a thank you and a hug of gratitude for all of you. And thank you all very much.” Even all those Getafe players.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Rob Smyth at 5pm BST for updates on France 2-1 Spain in the men’s Big Sports Day final. And at 8pm BST Tim de Lisle will be on to get the English season under way with MBM updates on Preston 0-0 Sheffield United.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
It’s golden – we are [Big Sports Day] winners! Hats off to what you have done with Checker in the last year and a half. I am so excited. Let yourself go and celebrate now” – Thomas Müller might not have won Big Cup this year, but he’s played a part in providing Germany with a gold medal thanks to his part-ownership of a 14-year-old grey gelding who can leap like no other.
Re: yesterday’s Memory Lane, full email edition. Thank you for restoring the !, !!, and !!! to the USWNT (USA! USA!! USA!!!). Getting their stripes back has been something richly deserved and grittily earned by America’s scuffling sweethearts; and generously recognised by Football Daily, the outlet where the heart of soccerball beats the loudest. Meanwhile continuing to withhold ! etc from the USMNT, pending better performances on a consistent basis in the – alas – infinitely receding future. From thousands of miles away in beautiful California the return of ! has been noted!! Thank you, Chelsea and British football in general, for preparing Emma Hayes so well to pull our flagship national team out of its unaccustomed drift and doldrums. In gratitude: UK! UK!!! UK!!!” – Anthony Pearsall [this was only because it was a reference to their ! !! !!! era. But come Saturday night, maybe again – Football Daily Ed].
There’s been a lot of talk about the quickest route from Arsenal to Fulham (Football Daily letters passim). Just don’t ask Alex Iwobi for his route, as his path from Arsenal to Fulham involved taking a long detour to Merseyside” – Dan Davis.
Hopefully Tim Ream’s transfer will not lead to a stream of Football Daily letters providing the best options for travel from Fulham the Charlotte” – Trevor Wastell.
Good to see the readership of the Daily are levelling up the north-south divide, or whatever, by spending a week discussing how to get from the cultural desert of north London to the city’s fiscally deprived west. I can tell you that the best way to get between the northern powerhouses of Leeds and Manchester the other night was, once again, a rattly minibus hastily put on a whole hour after the actual trains were all suddenly and unexpectedly cancelled. I suspect if that kept happening when you were all trying to get back to Brighton, it’d be front page news in Big Paper, not a frippery in a football newsletter” – Jon Millard (very well balanced, chips on both shoulders).
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is …. Anthony Pearsall. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.