Liverpool’s summer has been so bone dry that the local media is happy to pretend that the Reds want Victor Osimhen even though they know it is nonsense…
To the Victor the clicks
Liverpool are yet to make a signing this summer so it really must be a long day on the Liverpool Echo transfer blog. Gone are the days of pretending that Kylian Mbappe is about to become a Red so, well…
Liverpool transfer news live Victor Osimhen ‘deal’, Sepp van den Berg ‘demands’, Wataru Endo latest
Yep, sorry what?
We already know that the Osimhen ‘deal’ is not with Liverpool; indeed we know there is no ‘deal’ at all but that Chelsea are proposing a transfer that includes Romelu Lukaku. But genuinely, what the f*** has this got to do with Liverpool?
Liverpool dealt transfer blow with Napoli ‘open to’ Victor Osimhen deal with Chelsea
Yep, sorry what again? A ‘transfer blow’? Are we now reaching the point where any Premier League club making any signing is a ‘transfer blow’ to Liverpool?
Liverpool have been dealt a blow in any potential pursuit of Napoli striker Victor Osimhen.
They must be reeling. And it’s come so close on the back of Arsenal signing Riccardo Califiori, which was a blow in any potential pursuit of the Bologna defender.
But surely this has not come from nowhere, though cited reports in The Guardian and Corriere dello Sport make zero mention of Liverpool as possible suitors for the Nigerian striker.
After some investigation we find one Italian report from early May that Liverpool and Arne Slot are interested in Osimhen, but very little of substance since. Presumably because it was bollocks.
Until Monday, that is, and a headline of ‘Liverpool joins race for Osimhen’, from The Sun in Nigeria, which teases that the Express are claiming Osimhen to be Arne Slot’s main striker target.
So to the Express we go, to find what we suspect must be the culprit for this renewed nonsense:
Arne Slot may not have made any new signings for Liverpool yet, but there is one target at the top of his wishlist: Napoli star Victor Osimhen.
Oh really? This is quite the scoop. Tell us more…
The only sticking point could be that PSG have been locked in talks over a deal with Napoli. However, the French club have stalled over paying the exorbitant fee for Osimhen, opening the door for Liverpool to steal in.
The ‘only’ sticking point? Really? It’s a f*** of a lot of money and Liverpool have never spent over £100m on anybody. Even if we ignore for a moment that we really don’t think they are interested.
The Merseyside giants are not accustomed to paying such large transfer fees, and they would likely need to sell in order to finance any dream move for Osimhen. That could mean offering £85m flop Darwin Nunez for sale after struggling to deliver since Klopp signed him in 2022.
They have literally thought of everything. Apart from the fact that Liverpool are not interested and Osimhen looks very likely to join Chelsea.
But maybe the Express have some new information…
A report from Corriere Dello Sport in May claimed that incoming boss Slot wanted to sign Osimhen and ditch Nunez. It remains to be seen if he still feels that way after pre-season…
Oh. So the entire article is based on that one report from May? Actual FFS.
And that has seemingly led to the Echo telling us in late July that Liverpool have been dealt a ‘transfer blow’.
August 16 cannot come quick enough.
MORE ON LIVERPOOL FROM F365:
👉 Staveley confirms Liverpool want Gordon as Romano makes Newcastle ‘green light’ claim
👉 Will Liverpool make the error of not signing a new centre-half?
The Magic Number
Mediawatch has long been fascinated by the concept of ‘dream shirt numbers’, though nowhere near as fascinated as the click-hungry bods at Reach.
Their London football title – catchily called football.london – are particularly obsessed, and they told us last week of Riccardo Calafiori:
Arsenal still two transfers from dream Riccardo Calafiori shirt number scenario
Now the concept of the ‘dream shirt number’ is a curious one because it relies entirely on what an entirely unrelated person – usually a recent journalism graduate – decides is that player’s ‘dream shirt number’.
On this occasion a Central Audience Football Writer (that’s the real dream) admitted very early doors that Calafiori had a ‘preferred No.33 shirt number’ that was actually available at Arsenal, but where’s the fun in that?
So instead we are asked to presume that Calafiori secretly wants the No. 3 shirt because a) it’s a smaller number and b) he wore it for the Roma Under-19s five years ago. And ‘it may well not be that he prefers No.33 but has so far just taken to it’.
It may well not be, indeed. And thus, Calafiori’s dream shirt number is decreed to be No. 3, even though he has never actually worn that number at a professional level.
So imagine our surprise when…
There’s a new number 33 in town 👕
Shop the Calafiori look on Arsenal Direct now 🛍️
— Arsenal (@Arsenal) July 29, 2024
Canary in a gold mine
It’s a difficult time of the year to write about football so we have some begrudging admiration for The Sun‘s Football Editor Charlie Wyett for finding a little light in the dark with this exclusive:
KIERAN McKENNA is a shock contender for the England job.
The FA are searching for a successor to Gareth Southgate and the Ipswich boss is on the list.
Being a Norwich fan is not a whole lot of fun; unless you happen to be the Football Editor of a national newspaper.