NOT SOME BLOKES AT A CASHPOINT
Between the dynamic ticket pricing scandal and these two not making it on to the Ballon d’Or shortlist (what about Cristiano Ronaldo’s numbers in Saudi, guys?!), it’s fair to say that Football Daily and the rest of you were at a low ebb going into the international break. But then, a ray of hope amid the disgraces of Social Media Disgrace TwiXer. A post from The Cultras Pod emerged from the shadows, with nothing but a dream and a hashtag.
#Barclaysmen was born, its mission clear: to cleanse the timeline with nostalgic compilations of early-2000s Premier League footballers set to music of the era. Neither the footballer or the music had to be good. In fact, if the footballers were too good, they are not Barclaysmen at all. Paul Scholes is not a Barclaysman. Neither is Thierry Henry. But James Beattie? Barclaysman. Yakubu? Barclaysman. Matty Taylor? Barclaysman. Hey, we don’t make the rules. Taylor is maybe even the quintessential Barclaysman, with a license to shoot from downtown whenever he wanted. Oh, for the days of a speculative shot! Pep, what have you done to us?!
Sure, the terms “Prime Barclays” and “Pure Barclays” have been around for years and, admittedly, #Barclaysmen is basically just a Grant Holt-inspired rebranding of “The Streets Won’t Forget”. And yes, some have taken it too far – Fabio Borini’s compilation, set to Just Jack’s Starz in their Eyes, was an uncomfortable watch, while Brentford’s admin tried to get in on the act despite the fact the Bees only reached the Premier League in 2021. But don’t spoil this for us. This remains a good, wholesome thing. We just want something to watch, something to feel, while we’re stuck at the back of a Ticketmaster queue.
A wise person named EM Hudson once said that people “can literally just sit around and name old sports players and just have the best time”. Amen to that. And especially if Hard to Beat by Hard-Fi is playing in the background.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“When I’m hearing all the negativity when we’re playing well, good goal by Altrincham by the way, good goal on the counter-attack, fair play, [Justin Amaluzor’s] a good player, pace, and I gotta listen to that moaning in me ear. Just relax. I know what I’m doing. I took this team over, bottom of the table, have a look where you are. Yeah? … I’m very very angry and frustrated. And any fan who wants to come see me, my door’s open, come in and see me, have a cup of tea with me and come and see me, and I’ll explain where we’re at and who’s injured and what’s happening” – after a last-gasp 2-1 win in the National League, Barnet manager Dean Brennan stops just short of suggesting the club’s fans visit him armed with their lunchtime repast, while showing what menace really means. Come and find out who’s injured!
Is turning down a Football Daily letters prize in advance a bit like saying: ‘Oh, I’d never accept a peerage. If only there were the slightest probability of it being offered at all.’ Anyway, no 7-incher for me, please. Please. What I really wanted to say was: since when did Harry Kane’s home country become an island (yesterday’s Football Daily)? I know Welsh and Scottish nationalists have long been advocating separation, but I genuinely thought that was only on a political basis rather than a full-on terraforming tow-my-piece-of-this-confounded-union-far-enough-away-until-we-have-territorial-waters-of-our-own basis. Still, maybe you’d like to have Shrewsbury-on-Sea or Carlisle-sur-la-Plage?” – Ken Muir (and others).
I’d started to believe that my life had reached a nadir once I began regularly reading this tea-timely email. But I’ve yet to count the number of words in your correspondence, so thank you, Chris Wheal (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), for showing me I still have some way yet to sink” – Simon Mazier.
This originally came up in May. Go read some listicles elsewhere, if you like. Let writers write, we need them” – Jon Millard.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Simon Mazier, who wins a 7” vinyl copy of Manchester United Calypso, a soulful classic reissued by Be With Records. If you’re not a winner, visit their online store to pre-order your own. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
A north London derby preview, another huge game for Erik ten Hag and Poch moving stateside all feature in the Football Weekly Extra podcast.